i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
