i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
