It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
There's always time for handjobs
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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