I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
