soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
True college students do jello shots in the library
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