Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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