the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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