We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
