I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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