come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Boobs are out for the taking
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
