is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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