do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
