that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
