I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
