Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
