Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
