so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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