I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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