The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
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