Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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