i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
