Rock
Scissors
Fuck
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Randomize
