I'm lost and stupid without you.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Randomize
