I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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