The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
