I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
