So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
