If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
