So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
