I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
