so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
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