you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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