Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
