I hate all girls vehemently.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
