Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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