i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
