I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.�
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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