Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I puked a lego.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
