69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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