holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
