my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
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