She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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