So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
