dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
