I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
it's like iHOP with fire
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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