STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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