shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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