; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Randomize
