Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
