I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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