so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
