we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
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